INCREASING LIGHT

I'm really starting to feel the slight increase in my energy since the clocks were sprung forward. Like a tree, I can feel my cells gobbling up light and charging my battery. It makes me think about my garden and wonder about how growing your own food nourishes differently than grocery store food. There has to be a difference. Think about it. First you choose the day you put the seed in the dirt...and then you hover around hoping for a solid germination but you continue to be in-union energy-wise. You care for the seeds...maybe you even pray for the seeds and the weather. You run for covers when the temperature threatens to drop below freezing. The care is a form of love that you give the seeds you put in the soil until harvest. The plants either grow and thrive or they challenge you with their demands. One might attract cucumber beetles or cabbage worm or show signs of a fungus or a tender green loving animal might graze them right away. You open yourself to fear even as you plant the seeds of love. The seeds go into the dirt with hope and trust in the power of life that you're germinating when you plant the seed. Last year I realized fairly far into the season, that I was worrying about my garden and that maybe the constant fear vibe had something to do with the fungus that began taking my tomato plants from the bottom up. I had yet again, planted my tomatoes too close together. In fact I tend to plant everything too close together because I'm a doubtfilled soul. I lack the vision to see that without my worry, the plants will grow large and need steaking. They will in fact, fill the spaces and I will pay attention to giving them more space for air circulation and light. So all summer long, you give the plants your attention. Sometimes I will cancel plans if there is a weather event due to arrive or if a crop needs to be harvested. Mind you, that's my food getting all this love and attention for month after month. But that is just the beginning.

There's picking and curing and chopping and braising and drying and blanching and storing and freezing. That keeps me occupied right into November...all the while I'm eating fresh greens, salads and vegetables while I put up pumpkin and berries and beans and cukes. This is where I like to linger in my thoughts. As I eat all the freshness, and enjoy the nourishment, I am preparing frozen homegrown vegetables and pesto and pickles and sundried tomatoes. I am scurrying around storing food for the winter and I have a deep respect for the squirrels and chipmunks enjoying the now but with an eye toward preparing for the future. Something happens to me and I get consumed by the yield from my garden. These vegetables almost seem to own me...my thoughts, my love, my time. So how is this food that I've grown and worried about and protected and paid attention to any different from the green beans I grab by the bunch at the grocery store? It might be just a slight increase in the energy like the shift in light that started me off on this tangent.

But it seems only right that the energy I've put out into growing this food will come back to me with dividends as my body digests it. Like the waxing light of March, the energy of increased light is absorbed by cells and I venture to guess, it feeds a lighter spirit. As I dig out the frozen carrots and mixed greens and green beans from the freezer, I hear myself say...its frozen food and not fresh. But an answer comes back from another part of my brain...sure...but this bag of frozen collards has an extra vitamin made from the energy I put in to weeding the patch and picking the bugs. It is not just Birds Eye frozen...it is planted, tended, picked and stored by one heart...my heart. So these homegrown vegetables have a lifetime of my love and its all coming back to me in the soup kettle.

Stephen set out the taps for maple syrup yesterday. I just love the ritual of boiling down the sap into syrup. I love the collecting of the sweetness and then sitting by the fire and watching the boil turn the watery sap to thick golden maple syrup. The sun is often warm enough to give a sunburn. I love to think about the trees sucking up moisture and pumping the sap up with warm days and cold nights. There is probably a sunlight effect at work as well. So today, I feel like I've been thinking like a tree. And somehow, that has lead me to consider the difference between digesting the food I've grown vs food I've purchased. I don't know exactly how the difference will manifest, but I sure do feel a change in my energy. Have I finally blundered into a healthy way to love myself? Something I can really digest?Mmmmm...almost time to start some seeds.